Life is like a video cassette recorder—it comes with confusing instructions, is nearly impossible to program, and is seemingly controlled by a CPU of it's own.
The VCR of life begins in the "Slo-Mo" setting.
As a child, eternity separates one Christmas from the next. Adults may mark time between January 1 and December 31, but kids measure time in units between visits from St. Nick. For instance, for five-year-olds that 365-day wait is 20 percent of their lives!
Teens also view life as an agonizing and angst-ridden wait for a driver's license, high school graduation, marriage, and sex—preferably in that order.
Life slows to a "Super Slo-Mo" crawl and then seemingly "Pause" when as a parent, your little poop and puke producers keep you up all night. (I love my kids, but one end or the other was constantly demanding attention for the first year of their lives.)
Sometime, though, after the kids are sleeping through the night and completely house broken, the VCR of life suddenly shifts into "Fast Forward."
At 50, the time between taking down the Christmas tree and putting it up again compresses to less than 2 percent of one's lifespan. No wonder a year seems to go ten times faster for an adult than a child! One day you're walking your daughter to pre-school and the next, you're walking her down the aisle! (I think it has something to do with the theory of relativity.)
Then, more baffling than the blinking "12:00" on the VCR, many malicious machines suddenly and without warning slip into "Rewind."
All of us are born without bladder control and many revert back to this state near the end of life. We're born with the IQ of strained squash and many Social Security recipients have those "senior moments" when their minds turn to mush. (I'm only 48 and I can't remember what I ate for breakfast!) This reversal of vitality also works for hair, teeth, strength, and verbal skills.
Aha, you say, but aren't "skinheads" bald and professional wrestlers toothless? My point exactly—they've simply gone straight from "Slo-Mo" to "Rewind."
I've noticed this phenomenon with my 91-year-old grandmother.
It's a strange—and downright traumatic moment—when you realize you're helping feed the one who helped feed you. Or you help the one who helped you walk take tentative and trembling steps from the hospital bed to the adult potty chair. I've watched in horror as a grandmother with the energy of the "Energizer Bunny" and the shape of a teddy bear has mutated into a frail, 90-pound figure with a gaping hospital gown.
On a recent visit to Room 4101 at the Battle Creek Health Care Center, we held hands and rewound the VCR. We reminisced about Christmas Eve when she and Grandpa would arrive with laundry baskets overflowing with gifts. We talked about trips to Florida and Canada in their tiny travel trailer, and learning to read with her homemade flashcards that she had used decades earlier teaching in one-room school houses.
During that visit, she asked me to pray that she would die in her sleep that night. She has been telling us for ten years, "I may not be here for Christmas." And we had always joked, "Well, we can always return your gifts." But this time, I was ready to let her go. I prayed that if it was God's will, He would take her home, and if not, He would give her the emotional and spiritual strength as her body and mind rewinds closer and closer to "000."
We were able to express our love for each other and say our goodbyes. "I'll see you in a week or in heaven. Either way, we'll be together. I love you and am praying for you."
I left Room 4101 with the assurance that in eternity, the heavenly VCR will always blink "12:00." Time will become a forever now. No painful homesickness and separation from loved ones. No waiting for Christmas. No agonizing "Super Slo-Mo" setting and, best of all, no ravaging "Rewind" button.
© Copyright 2000 James N. Watkins
Leave a comment, tell a friend, send me money . . .
Email your comments to jim@jameswatkins.com.
And if this page was helpful, please . . .
a) save it as a favorite at
delicious.com
b) subscribe to the RSS feed
c) recommend it to digg.com and
StumbleUpon.com and
d) tell a friend:
And if this page was really helpful, please . . .
e) please consider a donation to our sponsor XarisCom.
You can donate securely with any major credit card through PayPal. Thanks!
Legal stuff and warnings
Copyright © James Watkins. All text and graphics on my sites, unless otherwise noted, are copyrighted © in my name,
James N. Watkins, and are protected by United States copyright law and international copyright law under the Berne
Convention. Please visit the press room for information on reprinting any text or
graphics. Thanks!
WARNING: Reader assumes full responsibility for the proper and prescribed use of this
site. For external use only. Discontinue if rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops. If swallowed, do not
induce vomiting. Side-effects may include drowsiness or mild to severe agitation. Do not read while consuming alcohol or
operating heavy machinery. Keep away from open flame. Do not store above 451 degrees. Do not use near or place in water.
Void where prohibited, taxed or licensed. Any medical information provided is for general educational use only and should
not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice.
Views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of
any other person—real or fictitious, living or dead—using the name James
N. Watkins.
